Providing Care for Grandchildren
See also: Avoiding Grandparent BurnoutGrandparents are increasingly involved in the everyday care of their grandchildren. Many now provide significant amounts of childcare, including for young pre-school age children. Others provide care during school holidays, or wraparound care during the school day, to allow parents to work a full day. Grandparent care is even recognised under the UK’s National Insurance scheme.
There are also some grandparents who become primary caregivers for their grandchildren. This means that their grandchildren live with them full-time or nearly full-time, and they provide all or most of their care. This may happen if the child’s parents are unable to care for them, for example, because they have mental health or substance misuse problems.
This page discusses the issues that may arise for grandparents taking care of their grandchildren on a regular basis, whether formally or informally.
Grandparents as Childcare Providers
In the Western world, many grandparents now provide significant amounts of childcare for their grandchildren (see box).
Some figures on grandparental care
A US study found that between one-fifth and one-quarter of grandparents provide more than 25 hours of childcare every week. That’s at least 3 full-time working days every week.
Half of grandparents in the US provide emergency childcare when regular arrangements fall through for some reason.
More than one-quarter of US grandparents currently provide before- or after-school care for their grandchildren, and more than one-third provide childcare during school holidays.
In the UK, 63% of grandparents with grandchildren under 16 years old provide some childcare each week. One in five grandmothers provides at least 10 hours of childcare each week, or two hours on each working day.
There is therefore no question that many grandparents are significant figures in the lives of their grandchildren—and those grandchildren’s parents.
They provide care that allows the parents to work full-time, often necessary for household income. Anecdotally at least, many also do so on a largely unpaid basis, although parents may pay for expenses.
However, it is hard to get a real idea of the figures in many countries. This is because grandparent care is culturally expected in some places, so grandparents providing care do not self-identify as caregivers.
The number of grandparents acting formally as primary caregivers for their grandchildren is increasing.
What are primary caregivers?
The primary caregiver is the person responsible for providing the majority of childcare to a child. This is generally the person with whom the child lives for most or all of the time.
The term is usually used after a separation or divorce, to explain which parent is considered the person with most responsibility for the child. In most families, that will be the child’s mother or father—and realistically, it is usually the mother who provides more childcare.
However, in some families, this is not possible, and grandparents may step in to become the primary caregiver under the law.
In this case, the children will be formally placed with their grandparents, who will be given parental responsibility by the courts. Research suggests that the number of grandparents in this role is increasing in many countries, including the US, UK and Australia.
The Legal Position on Grandparental Caregiving
What is the legal position on grandparents acting as, effectively, childminders for their grandchildren?
In many countries, people looking after children have to be registered, and meet certain standards of care.
However, this does not usually apply to grandparents caring for their grandchildren.
In the UK, for example, grandparents are allowed to provide any amount of care for their grandchildren, and even be paid, without needing to be registered as childminders. They only need to register as childminders if they are caring for unrelated children. This is also the position for uncles and aunts, who can look after their nieces and nephews without needing to be registered.
However, parents cannot use government-funded free childcare to pay for grandparental care, and can only apply tax credits if the grandparent is a registered childminder.
Are there legal considerations when grandparents become primary caregivers?
There may well be legal considerations when grandparents become primary caregivers.
For example, in the UK, only those with parental responsibility are permitted to make decisions about children’s lives. This means decisions about education, healthcare and similar concerns can only be made by people with parental responsibility. Healthcare providers should not discuss children’s health with anyone who does not have parental responsibility, schools will not accept applications for entry from anyone without parental responsibility, and so on.
For most children, the only people with parental responsibility are their parents.
What happens when parents cannot look after their children?
Local authorities often step in at this point, and will generally prefer ‘kinship care’ to other care arrangements. Children may therefore be placed with their grandparents.
However, only the courts can grant parental responsibility to anyone other than the child’s parents. The law does not automatically grant grandparents parental responsibility even when their grandchildren are living with them. They therefore need to apply to court for an order such as a Special Guardianship Order, to give them formal caregiver status and parental responsibility.
Problems Associated with Grandparental Caregiving
Several problems may arise as a result of grandparental caregiving.
First, there may be clashes between parents and grandparents about parenting choices.
Grandparents may not be fully up-to-date on current practices in child-rearing, or may decide that they can use ‘their rules’ when they are looking after their grandchildren.
This can become a point of conflict if they are providing significant amounts of childcare.
It may need careful handling to preserve arrangements and ensure that they continue to work for everyone.
There is more about how to manage this in our page on Communicating with Your Adult Children about Grandparenting.
Second, money may easily become an issue.
Parents and grandparents need to discuss financial arrangements in advance of starting any childcare arrangements.
Grandparents may initially not wish to be paid. However, they may find that the reality is very different from their expectations. Keeping children entertained and fed is not cheap, and many parents therefore offer to pay a contribution towards the expenses of looking after their children, or provide all the food and supplies. One way round this is for grandparents to look after their grandchildren in the children’s house and parents to provide all the supplies.
Third, ‘grandparent burnout’ can be a problem.
One of the biggest problems associated with the provision of childcare by grandparents (either as child-minding or as primary caregiving) is the risk of grandparent burnout.
This is the inability of grandparents to cope with the demands placed on them in their role. It is most likely to happen among grandparents providing a significant amount of childcare, or acting as primary caregivers. It is also more likely to happen when there is insufficient support available.
The main issue is that both grandparents and parents often underestimate the demands of looking after young children, and overestimate their own (or their parents’) stamina. Tiredness and burnout can creep up on people, and is best avoided by not taking on too much.
Our page on Avoiding Grandparent Burnout provides some advice on how to avoid this issue.
In Conclusion...
Grandparent care is—when arrangements work well—good for children, good for parents and good for grandparents.
It can be the only way for parents to work full-time without high childcare costs, and also means that children are being looked after by trusted family members. Contact with grandchildren is also good for grandparents’ mental health. However, it needs careful thought and work to avoid any conflicts or clashes, and to ensure that the arrangements only continue for as long as they work for everyone.