Emotional Preparation for Retirement

People talk a lot about financial preparations for retirement. It is, of course, essential to make sure that your pension will be sufficient, sort out insurance and so on (and our page on Financial Planning for Retirement explains more). However, less is mentioned about making suitable emotional preparations for retirement.

The psychological side of leaving work can be extremely challenging. We probably all know someone who has found retirement difficult to navigate. You may think that you’re “ready to retire”, but have you really considered how you will feel without a professional identity? What will you do all day? This page explains how to prepare yourself for the emotional aspects of leaving work.

What are the Negative Psychological Aspects of Retirement?

There are both positive and negative psychological aspects of retirement that you need to consider beforehand. The negative aspects include:

• Loss of professional identity

  How will you feel about no longer being able to describe yourself as a member of your profession?

  For many people, this loss of professional identity leaves a profound hole in their identity. It is worth thinking ahead about your own sense of identity, and how it is connected to work. This may be compounded by family changes—your children growing up—that mean that you are also no longer needed by them in quite the same way. This double loss of identity can be particularly hard to navigate. Finding ways to identify yourself outside work and family is crucial to maintaining a strong sense of personal identity into retirement.

• Managing uncertainty and new routines

  For perhaps 30 or 40 years, you have probably lived within a routine around your work.

  You have got up at a particular time, gone to a particular place to work, and then come home. You may even have bought lunch at the same place, or same few places, each day. All of a sudden, that is coming to an end. You will need to find a way to manage the uncertainty about what you are going to do each day, including finding new routines—or new flexibility.

  Our page on Personal Change Management may be helpful in thinking through these changes.

• Dealing with fears about ageing and dying

  Retirement is a very clear milestone on the road towards growing old.

  Few of us like to admit that we are getting older. However, the point at which you retire is unmistakably a milestone on the route—and it is very hard to ignore. Part of your emotional response to retirement may well be linked to fears about ageing, and how you will cope, and it is worth recognising this from an early stage.

  A linked fear is the concern that you will retire after many years of work, and then die within a year or so. This fear may have two causes. The first is a worry that you won’t get to enjoy your retirement, and the second, which may actually be more common, is that not enjoying your retirement can cause you to “lose the will to live”. The answer to both, fortunately, is similar: plan ahead to make the most of your retirement.

• Worrying about loneliness

  Work is, for many people, a key source of social interaction.

  They therefore worry that they will not see or speak to people once retired, and may be both bored and lonely in retirement.

Fortunately, all these negative aspects are manageable, with a little preparation and planning.

What Positive Steps Can You Take to Prepare Psychologically for Retirement?

The advice for preparing psychologically for retirement is both broad and specific—and in many ways, both at the same time.

The key, it seems, is to build and then maintain purpose and meaning in your life. Where you no longer have work to give your life a shape, you need something else. However, this is not always a matter of simply having a routine, or keeping yourself busy.

It is also different for everyone.

For some people, having lots to do is enough. They can keep themselves happy by playing golf several times a week and meeting friends.

Others, however, talk about the importance of feeling ‘needed’. They like and value being part of something that matters to them. Participating in their own hobbies, for their own pleasure, is simply not enough to give them a sense of purpose.

There may be an explanation for both these situations.

In a discussion about how to be content in retirement, Reddit user EquivalentSupport8 said that they took a course on achieving happiness and fulfilment, and the key takeaway was the importance of all of:

• autonomy;
• working towards mastery in something; and
• at least one meaningful relationship.

This description would probably fit both categories above. Those content with their hobbies may well be getting enough social interaction, have enough autonomy, and feel that they are working towards mastery of their hobby. Alternatively, they may have sufficiently meaningful relationships elsewhere. For others, though, perhaps their hobby and life in general does not fulfil one or more of these criteria, and they need something else.

It is, however, also true that we are all different. What is fulfilling for one person may not be enough for another. The key is likely to be to know yourself, and explore what works for you within a framework such as that given above.

For more about understanding yourself, you may find it helpful to read our pages on Emotional Intelligence, and particularly Self-Awareness.

What Practical Steps Can You Take to Prepare Emotionally for Retirement?

There are several practical steps you can take to prepare emotionally for retirement.

1. Explore and understand your goals for retirement

   Our page on Planning for Retirement: Getting Started explains that your starting point for planning for retirement is to understand your personal goals for retirement.

   You need to know what you and your partner (if you have one) want to do with the next few years of your life. Will you travel? Will you spend more time with family and friends? Will you volunteer? What do you want to achieve or accomplish?

   The crucial issue is to understand what excites and motivates you about retirement.

2. Think about how you want to spend your time

   Once you have clear goals, you can then think about how those translate into how you will spend your time each day.

   Especially if you have worked long hours before retirement, you are probably unused to having free time. Plan ahead where possible to think about how you want to spend your days—and in as much detail as you can manage.

   Think about things that you want to do regularly, such as doing some sport or going to the gym. Add in occasional one-offs like concerts or events, and think about how often you want—and can afford—to do them. Consider how often you want to meet up with family and friends, or what travelling you might do. Plan out your days a bit, and see how much time you will have.

   You can then consider whether you need to find other ways to fill your time—and the next step may help here.

3. Develop some new interests—and make new friends or acquaintances

   Another side effect of working long hours is the difficulty in having time for hobbies or side interests.

   Retirement—or just before retirement—is a very good time to explore some new hobbies or interests. Ideally, choose interests that are sociable, because this will also help you to make new acquaintances or friends. This is particularly important for those who live alone, or whose main social circle is or was at work.

   Starting new hobbies while you still work may feel hard. However, it may be helpful to talk through options for new interests with your colleagues. You might even find that you know someone who does one or more things that you would like to try. You might be able to tag along with them, making your introduction to the activity less daunting.

4. Get into the habit of thinking positively

   It is natural to worry about change—and retirement is a big change. It is also very easy to feel negative about life in general.

   However, all the evidence suggests that thinking positively is far better for you.

   Thinking good thoughts is not enough to change the world. We all know that. However, having a positive approach to life actually is enough to make you feel better about yourself and those around you. This is especially true at times of change and uncertainty.

   Start building this habit before retirement, and it will stand you in good stead as you navigate the changes in your life.

   Our page on Positive Thinking contains more about this important skill, and some easy practices to get you started.

5. Keep learning

   It is very easy to get ‘set in your ways’ when you retire.

   However, it is important to keep your brain active, and keep learning. Embrace change and opportunities to learn, and you may find that they have other benefits. For example, if you are open to learning about new technologies, you will be better able to keep in touch with friends and family.

A Final Thought

Retirement may feel like a big step, and it is certainly important to be emotionally prepared for it.

However, as one reddit user pointed out, it’s a transition, not a cliff. If the decisions that you make early on stop suiting you, other options are open to you. Stay flexible, keep thinking positively, and you will be well-placed to take advantage of opportunities that come your way.