It is fair to say that there are challenges at every stage of life. Existential crises are a feature of the teenage years, and the issues associated with what we might call ‘early adulting’ have been played out in sitcoms from Friends to Fleabag. The ‘parenting years’ are also widely accepted to be difficult in many ways. You might think that once your children have grown up and ‘flown the nest’, things might calm down, but this is not necessarily the case.

Evolving family situations require changes, and these are often exacerbated by the inevitable ‘slowing down’ that accompanies getting older. It can be a struggle to stay relevant—or at least to feel that you have done so, and that you still have an important role in the world. Staying healthy also becomes more of a challenge, and not just for women facing menopause. This section of Skills You Need explains more about navigating this part of life, hopefully with grace and humour.

What Are the Main Challenges in Midlife?

There are, unfortunately, many challenges in midlife—but there is also much to celebrate about this time of life.

You may, for example, find yourself a member of the ‘Sandwich Generation’.

This term has been coined for those people who face demands from the generations either side, as they try to bring up children while also looking after aging parents. While potentially stressful, this can also be a very rewarding time, as you watch your children growing up and gaining more independence, before ‘flying the nest’.

Caring for your parents can also be an opportunity to spend more time with them again, getting to know them as people rather than just your parents (or your children’s grandparents). It can also be very rewarding watching your children build relationships with their grandparents as they grow up.

A second area of challenge is staying relevant.

Research shows that many people in midlife worry about becoming ‘less relevant’. They feel that their children need them less, and that perhaps work is less rewarding than previously. There may be concerns about being overtaken by younger coworkers and colleagues, or replaced by technology. In some people, this can lead to a midlife crisis.

This question of relevance may be at least in part, a question of ‘mind over matter’. However, it can also be helpful to build yourself new relevance in your own life by taking up a new hobby, or volunteering your time for a cause that interests you.

There is more about this in our pages on Navigating a Midlife Crisis and Building a Fulfilling Retirement Lifestyle.

What about staying relevant at work?

This is a key concern for many people—and rightly so. Age discrimination is alive and well around the world, despite legislation prohibiting it in many countries. It seems likely that much age discrimination is largely unconscious: in other words, it is less a deliberate decision, and more a matter of simply being seen as ‘old’, with all the consequences of that judgement.

Staying relevant is often said to be a matter of continuous or lifelong learning. In other words, you “just” need to keep acquiring new skills to stay relevant. However, this is not necessarily true, because you need to acquire skills that are valuable in your workplace.

Our page on Staying Relevant At Work explains that there seem to be a few key characteristics that really help, including:

• Staying curious about the world, about work, and about those around you;

• Staying close to your organisation’s everyday work;

• Building and maintaining relationships with those around you, including customers, suppliers, coworkers and other stakeholders; and

• Being prepared to “unlearn” established habits and assumptions when they no longer serve you well.

Ultimately, however, you may need to be prepared to embrace a new career, and possibly self-employment if you wish to continue working much past established “retirement age”.

How Can You Stay Healthy as You Age?

Many people worry about staying healthy as they get older, and about being able to afford to retire.

It is important to be clear: it is entirely possible to age well, even if it is not possible to remain healthy for ever.

Midlife is often the start of small, niggling health problems for many people. Bad habits developed in your 20s and 30s can come home to roost, perhaps leaving you overweight, or consuming rather more alcohol than you would like. Small injuries and illnesses tend to be harder to shake off, and once you let an exercise habit slip, it feels very difficult to get fit again.

The good news is that there does not seem to be a point at which it is ‘too late’ to change your habits.

For example:

• We all know that smoking is bad for you—but ex-smokers seem to reach the same level of cancer risk as lifelong non-smokers within a few years of quitting.

• If you stop exercising as you get older, and especially if you stop doing anything weight-bearing, you will start to lose muscle. However, starting even a very small programme of weights or resistance training can rebuild muscle again.

Our page on Aging Well explains more about what constitutes a ‘healthy lifestyle’ as you get older. It also describes some of the most important changes that you can—and should—make to give yourself the best chance of aging well.

One aspect of aging that is often a concern is the potential need for care.

People worry about their own need for care—but they also worry about whether they might have to care for their spouse. For many people, doing so is a ‘given’: simply part of the deal when they got married. However, this has profound implications for your relationship and health.

Our page on Caring for a Spouse in Later Life provides more information.

What Do You Need to Know about Retirement?

Retirement is stopping working: either the point at which you do so, or the period after that in which you no longer work.

Our page on Planning for Retirement: Getting Started explains that retirement needs careful planning if you are to thrive. It is not enough simply to stop work and hope for the best. It also explains that there are many models of retirement, including working part-time in the same or a different job.

The starting point for planning for retirement is to consider your goals and objectives.

How do you want to spend your time? Where do you want to live, and what do you want to do? Lying on a beach may initially sound great—but might you actually want to spend time with your family too?

Deciding on your goals and objectives will enable you to take action to meet them, including addressing your financial situation, but also considering your timeline.

Another important issue to consider is where to retire. Do you choose to stay where you are, or move somewhere else?

Importantly, what factors should you consider in making that decision?

It seems likely that we all have different factors and values that matter to us, and this is therefore a very individual decision. It is, however, important that you make it actively, and do not allow the choice to be forced on you by circumstances.

There is more about how to decide where to retire in our page on Retirement Planning: Choosing Where to Retire.

It is also worth considering the question of whether to downsize.

Why is Financial Planning So Important for Retirement?

Retirement is very much a multi-faceted life stage, and not purely a financial issue.

However, historically, and certainly by governments, retirement has been treated as a purely financial issue. Guidance was about making sure that you had enough money to be able to afford not to work. There is a reason for this:

Adequate financial planning and provision can make retirement much pleasanter and easier.

What, then, do you need to know and consider when financial planning for retirement?

First, it is important to understand pensions—and ideally, to start one early and make adequate payments into it.

There is more about this in our page on Understanding Pensions.

Our page on this issue provides information about how to contribute to a pension, some considerations about how much to contribute, and about drawing down in due course. It also explains the importance of getting good professional financial advice from an early stage, to make sure that you are making the best decisions to support your future plans.

For more detail about one particular aspect of financial planning for retirement, you may be interested to read our guest post on the role of annuities in retirement income planning. This is a specialist topic, but one worth understanding, at least in outline.

Paying into a pension needs to start as early as possible in your working life. However, beyond that, financial planning for retirement can take a back seat at least until you are your 40s or 50s. As you approach the age at which you want to retire, it is a good idea to review your financial situation more fully, considering:

• Your debts, including your mortgage;

• Your pension contributions and likely income;

• Other investments and contingency funds;

• Insurance policies;

• One-off and regular outgoings over the next few years and then into retirement.

This review should help you to make changes to your situation early enough to make a difference. These changes may include updating your investments to better reflect your current risk profile, taking out new insurance policies, changing your working pattern, and planning for death and incapacity.

There is more about this in our page on Financial Planning for Retirement. You may also be interested in our guest post on Money Management in Midlife.

What Emotional Preparation for Retirement is Needed?

Financial planning is important, but it is also important to be genuinely ready for retirement.

Part of that is about being ready to move on from work. You may start to find that work is less satisfying, or less fulfilling than it once was, or that you feel that you have achieved what you wanted from working.

However, retiring has consequences.

For example, many people find it difficult to cope with the loss of professional identity, or simply not being needed in quite the same way.

You also need to think about how you will spend your time once retired.

When you have been working hard, especially if you have worked long hours, you have probably had very little free time in the last few years. You may have let your hobbies and interests lapse. You now need to consider what you are going to do with all the free time you are about to have.

Our pages on Emotional Preparation for Retirement and Building a Fulfilling Retirement Lifestyle provide advice about how you might prepare for this next step in life.

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A Final Thought

Midlife and beyond can be a challenging time.

You have to contend with the challenges of aging. You may also find yourself addressing issues associated with your children growing up and leaving home, or with your own parents aging and becoming more frail.

Fortunately, this period in life also has many compensations.

With luck, and a little forward planning, you will be able to look forward to retiring or reducing your working hours, and spend more time doing things that you enjoy. It seems advisable to embrace this part of your life, and think positively. This approach will best enable you to make the most of all the opportunities available.

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