As our page on Parenting Teenagers makes clear, the teenage years are marked by a strong ‘pulling away’ from parental control, and a desire for increased independence. Part of this happens as teenagers try to construct their own identity. You may think that your toddler had very clear ideas about who they were and what they wanted—but this is likely to pale into insignificance compared with the teenage years.

As part of developing their identities, teenagers often want to experiment with their appearance. They want to choose their own clothes and accessories, change their hairstyles and even alter themselves through piercings and tattoos, also known as body art. This page discusses how you might approach talking about these issues.

A Brief Introduction to Teenage Rebellion and Body Art

It is important to remember that teenage rebellion is natural.

Adolescence is a period during which young people are pulling away from their families and are creating their own identities. They may need to try out several possible identities before they find one that suits—and that includes altering their appearance.

This may be a trying period for parents, in more ways than one.

There are obvious dangers, such as trying drugs or alcohol (and our pages on Teenagers and Drugs, and Teenagers and Alcohol, provide more information). Faced with those dangers, you may well feel more relaxed about the prospect of your teenager ‘merely’ altering their appearance.

After all, hair will regrow in its natural colour, styles can be changed, and make-up is removable. What’s more, if you don’t make a fuss about it, your teen is quite likely to decide for themselves that they don’t like this ‘look’, and quietly move on to something else.

But what about permanent changes to appearance?

Body art, otherwise known as piercings and tattoos, is not (entirely) reversable. Yes, pierced holes will eventually close over in most parts of the body, but they will leave a scar. Tattoos can be removed, but the process is long and painful, and not always fully successful.

It is therefore worth thinking about your approach to the question of body art and your teenagers—and preferably before the issue arises.

Piercings, Tattoos and the Law

The permanent nature of both piercing and tattoos means that it is regulated by law in most countries. The box below sets out some examples of the law around age limits for tattooing and piercing.

It is therefore essential to research and understand the law in your country and jurisdiction to understand what is possible.

You need to know how much to worry if your teenager wants a tattoo or piercing. After all, you can relax a bit if you know that there is absolutely no danger of your 14 year old getting anywhere near a tattoo artist. However, this does not mean that you can stop worrying altogether. After all, we all understand that it is a bit late to start talking about sex and consent at the age of 16. These things take time for understanding to develop.

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Talking About Piercing and Tattoos

If the law says no, is there any need to talk to teenagers about tattoos and piercings?

The answer to this question is a resounding yes.

As our page on Understanding Adolescence explains, the brain undergoes considerable rewiring during the teenage years. This affects ability to make decisions, and particularly encourages risk-taking and lack of understanding about long-term consequences.

Unfortunately, this rewiring does not miraculously complete itself on your teenager’s 18th birthday. It can continue for some time—in fact, some estimates suggest until about the age of 25.

It is therefore important to have discussions with your teenager about the implications of body art.

Apart from anything else, this models mature behaviour and helps your teenagers to develop their rational thinking skills. If you simply prohibit body art completely, without full and sensible justification, then your teenager may well go straight out on their 18th birthday and get themselves a tattoo.

Instead, you need to have conversations that explore the implications and risk of tattoos and piercings, both advantages and disadvantages. These might include:

• The legal position. It is wise to ensure that your teens know the legal position in your jurisdiction, including the implications for both them and anyone who carries out a tattoo or piercing for them.

• The immediate aspects such as pain. Both tattooing and piercing involve pain, and it is important to articulate this clearly so that your teenager fully understands. For some people, this is enough to put them off the idea of any kind of body art.

• Practical aspects such as the need to keep piercings clean. Even girls who have pierced ears may underestimate the difficulties of keeping other piercings clean. This is particularly important in the first few weeks, and you should ensure that your teen understands what will be required. However, it also applies in the longer term. It bears saying, for example, that it will be challenging to manage a nostril or septum piercing if you have hay fever or other forms of allergic or non-allergic rhinitis.

• The risk of infections. Both piercing and tattooing make a hole in the skin, which means that there is a risk of infection. Many countries have limited regulation around tattooing or piercing. There may be voluntary codes of conduct in the absence of regulation—but how can you tell if your chosen tattooist or piercing shop adheres to these? It is worth having a discussion about what to look for in a body artist and their practices, such as wearing gloves, sterilising everything, and having the relevant qualifications and licences, where appropriate. It is also important to talk about how your teen would know if their body art was infected, and what to do about it.

• Risks of scarring and other reactions. Some ethnic groups are more prone to extensive scarring, known as keloid scarring. If your teenager has ever developed this type of scarring following a skin injury, it is likely that they will do so again following a piercing or tattoo. Body art should therefore be strongly discouraged. Similarly, allergic reactions are possible, especially in those who have sensitive skin or other skin allergies.

• Risks of serious complications. It is rare, but both piercing and tattoos have been associated with the development of serious complications, including bacteraemia (infection of the blood) and endocarditis (infection in the heart). There is also a risk of blood-borne diseases such as HIV and hepatitis if needles are reused or equipment is not properly sterilised. This is why ‘holiday tattoos’ are almost always a bad idea.

• Family implications. Obviously nobody should be driven to take (or not take) particular actions based on what other people think. However, it is worth talking about the likely reactions of loved family members, and why they might feel that way.

• Employment implications. Like it or not, people make judgements about you based on your appearance (and our page on Personal Appearance explains more). Having body art may inadvertently or otherwise bias potential employers against you—and your teens need to understand this.

• The implications of changing their mind later. It is worth discussing the costs of reversing a decision about body art. For example, some piercings will close up relatively quickly, especially if you change your mind in the first few weeks. However, others may either not close, or will leave a visible scar. Research suggests that teenagers often overestimate the reliability of tattoo removal, and believe that it can be done quickly, easily and without leaving scars. It is helpful to discuss the reality, and even research what might happen so that they can see for themselves.

• The benefits of getting a piercing or tattoo. It may be helpful to talk to your teen about what they want to get out of having a piercing or tattoo. They may, for example, think that it will help them to join a particular group at school or college, or that they want to mark a transition. Exploring why a permanent change in their appearance might, or might not, achieve this, could be helpful.

It is also helpful to talk about how it might be possible to mitigate some of these risks. For example, talk about whether tattooists are licensed in your jurisdiction, and how to check. You can also talk about safety standards such as sterilisation, how to check whether new needles are being used, and other aspects of hygiene. This will ensure that your teenager has the tools to keep themselves safe if and when they decide to get body art—whether now or later.

Exploring Other Options

It may also be worth discussing other options with your teenagers.

For example, stick-on or semi-permanent tattoos are available, and allow them to test out what it would be like to have a tattoo. These have the advantage that they can be removed when you get tired of them or if you don’t like the look after all. There are also magnetic ‘piercings’ that you can use to give the appearance of a septum or belly button piercing.

You might also consider discussing the question of ‘now or later’. Your teen may feel that this is an issue that cannot wait, and they ‘need’ a piercing or tattoo now. However, you might talk to them about how their desires have changed in the last few years, and stress that this may well be the case over the next few years too.

Similarly, it may also be worth discussing the gradations in body art. You could explore the different implications of, say, a small butterfly tattoo on the base of your back or your ankle, compared with a larger tattoo on your face or forearms.

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And Finally...

As a parent, it can be very hard to consider your child making a permanent change to their body.

However, it is important to remember that this is their body, not yours. You might not like it, and you might not do it to yourself—but that does not mean it is wrong for them. All you can do is ensure that they have the necessary tools to make the right decisions when the time comes.

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