Coping with Autism

See also: Speech and Language Delays

Autism spectrum disorder (or autism) is a neurodevelopmental disorder: a difference in how the brain works. It affects how people communicate and interact with the world around them, including people, places, objects and situations. Autism influences how people behave in various different ways, including social awareness, understanding of language, physical movement, and processing of information, including sensory information.

Our page on Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder makes clear that everyone with autism therefore has different issues and needs for support. They may therefore need different strategies to enable them to cope with various aspects of living with autism. This page explains some strategies that may be helpful both generally and for more specific problems.

Getting a Diagnosis

People have very different reactions to receiving a diagnosis of autism.

For some people, it is a relief to understand why they are driven to behave in particular ways, and to understand that there is a reason why they may feel ‘different’. For others, it may be a shock, even if they had long suspected that they might have autism.

Those who receive a diagnosis as an adult may be angry that they were not evaluated sooner, especially if they have lived under a lot of stress for some time because of their autism. They may struggle to reprocess their experiences through the lens of their diagnosis.

All these reactions are perfectly valid.

Busting some autism myths


Autism is not an illness.

It is not ‘treatable’ or ‘curable’, and you cannot spread it to other people.

It does not matter whether anyone tells you that their auntie/friend/neighbour’s cousin’s child was ‘cured’ by eating a particular food/wearing a metal bracelet/going wild swimming. This is not true.

Autism is a lifelong condition. You may learn to cope better, or find ways of masking more or less—but it will always be with you.

Autism is not caused by parenting, diet, experiences in childhood, vaccination, or any of the myriad other things that have been suggested over the years. In fact, nobody really knows why someone develops autism, although it seems to run in families.

The key is to appreciate that a diagnosis is a step on the way to getting the help and support that you need to live a full life and be able to function in the way that you want.

This might mean being able to get accommodations at school, college or work, or financial support for extra care if that is what you need. It may simply mean that you give yourself permission to need different things than those around you, and to behave differently from ‘neurotypical’ people.

Coping with Autism

There are many aspects of living with autism that can be challenging. However, there are also some fairly common—and relatively straightforward—strategies that may be helpful in either coping, or increasing your capacity to cope.

1. Develop a routine

People with autism often find it hard to manage changes and disruptions in their routine.

It may therefore be helpful to develop a regular routine, and to stick to it as far as possible. This does not mean being absolutely rigid, but having regular times for getting up, meals and going to bed can reduce your stress levels.

You may also find it helpful to use similar methods for getting to school or work every day.

However, building in some flexibility is also important in managing change when it is forced on you.

For example:

  • Use two or three different ways to get to work, instead of just one. Get into a habit of taking a different one each day, so that your routine involves all three. This will mean that if one of your regular methods is disrupted, you can slip into an alternative without being so stressed.

  • Have several different breakfasts or snacks that you use regularly, rather than eating exactly the same thing every day. This will avoid problems if one is unavailable for some reason—but still doesn’t require much thought or flexibility from you.

  • Rotate routine tasks or chores rather than feeling that you need to do everything or nothing each day.

  • 2. Manage your physical health

    It is important for all of us to look after our physical health.

    Taking regular exercise, getting enough sleep, and eating a healthy diet all make us feel better—and also make it much easier to deal with challenges. This may be particularly important for people with autism, who may find it hard to communicate with healthcare providers about feeling unwell, or even to recognise that they are unwell.

    There is more about this in our pages on Caring for Your Body.

    There may also be other challenges specific to people with autism, including:

    • Autism may affect your motor skills. It is therefore particularly important to find the right form of exercise for you. If you enjoy doing something, it will probably help both your mental and physical health. You can find out more about different forms of exercise in our page on Types of Exercise.

    • Your diet may be limited because of sensory processing issues. However, it is important to try to eat plenty of plant-based foods and try to avoid ultra-processed food as much as possible. There is more about this in our pages on Food, Diet and Nutrition.

    • Overstimulation may make it harder to sleep. A good bedtime routine may help, and there is more about this in our page on The Importance of Sleep.

    TOP TIP! Diaries may help


    Food and sleep diaries may be helpful in tracking foods that you like or dislike, and also when you sleep better or worse. This can help you to build a healthier range of behaviours.


    3. Manage anxiety

Many people with autism report high levels of anxiety.

One study found that around 9% of the general population reported symptoms of anxiety. However, this rose to 20% among adults with autism.

This may be because, unlike many of the rest of us, people with autism find it harder to manage social interactions. They may find it hard to predict how people will react or respond to social cues. This makes them anxious about interacting with other people. They may also be anxious about how to manage challenges that arise in coping with everyday life. However, it may also be that many of the symptoms of anxiety are similar to those of autism more generally.

Untreated anxiety is linked to other mental health problems such as depression.

If you find that you are often anxious, it is therefore important to find ways to manage this.

Unfortunately, there is no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to managing anxiety, including among people with autism. Strategies that may help include cognitive behavioural therapy, art therapy, other forms of therapy, exercise, and relaxation techniques.

Our page on What is Anxiety? provides more information about anxiety and how to manage it.

You may also find it helpful to read our pages on Stress and Stress Management, because high levels of anxiety over a long period may lead to stress. Similarly, our pages on relaxation techniques may be useful in dealing with both anxiety and stress.

4. Find a support group

People with autism often need help and support with social interactions.

It may be helpful to find a local support group for people with autism. This may also be helpful for your friends and family, because they will be able to meet other people whose relatives have autism.

You may also find it helpful to read about or hear from other people with autism, to understand their experience and how it is similar to and different from yours. There is plenty of information available online (see box) as well as through local support groups.

Charities and support organisations


If there is no local support group, there may be online support groups run by autism-focused charities, such as Ambitious about Autism and the National Autistic Society in the UK. These charities also provide lots of help and advice that may be useful.

5. Understand your triggers

One of the most important ways to cope with autism is to understand your own triggers and warning signs.

You need to recognise when you are at risk of heading towards meltdown or shutdown, and then take steps to remove yourself from the situation. You may also wish to avoid certain situations that you know will be stressful. For example:

  • You might choose not to attend a party if you know it will be too loud or full of people;

  • You might decide to leave a wedding before the evening reception, to avoid loud music or being over-stimulated.

However, sometimes you may be ‘bounced’ into a situation that makes you feel very anxious, such as a change in your routine. You then need to recognise what is happening, and have an ‘escape strategy’ to give yourself a change to reset. For example, you might find that going for a walk provides this opportunity, or that using fidget toys or listening to music helps you to calm down again.

Use a trigger diary


A bit like a stress diary, a ‘trigger diary’ helps you to recognise—and therefore avoid or cope with—your triggers.

Review times when you have been triggered into meltdown, panic, or anxiety. Think about what caused it, the situation you were in and what signs you had in advance.

This will help you to recognise what is happening in advance the next time—or to avoid tricky situations.

6. Ask for help

We all know that it can be difficult to ask for help.

It is likely to be even more difficult for people with autism who may already be anxious about social interaction or seeming ‘different’.

However, it is important to ask for help if you need it.

Most neurotypical people do not understand the challenges of living with autism. They will generally assume that you are fine either until you are not, or you ask for help. However, most people like to be asked for help, and are likely to be accommodating if they can.

It is reasonable to ask for help such as:

  • Advance warning of planned changes that will affect you, such as changes in timetables or working arrangements (for example, at school or college, you may be able to get early information about your timetable for the next academic year or semester);

  • Concrete information about what this might mean for you, including where you will need to be and how your routine will need to change. You can then plan ahead and get used to the idea;

  • A recognition that you might need to take time out to regulate yourself sometimes.



Autistic Burnout and Fatigue

It is worth being aware of a more extreme issue that may arise in people with autism: autistic burnout.

This usually manifests as chronic fatigue, feeling over-stimulated, and losing the ability to do things that you would normally manage, such as socialising. These symptoms tend to last for several months.

It happens when someone with autism has been too busy or too overwhelmed for too long, and everything catches up with them. They might, for example, have been feeling the need to behave ‘normally’ (neurotypically) because of particular social situations, or to meet familial expectations.

Autistic burnout tends to be caused by a long-term situation, rather than just one thing. However, it can also happen in response to a particular event if it has been very stressful.

The key to avoiding it or managing it seems to be asking for help, looking after yourself, and taking time out when you need—both before and during the burnout period.

It seems to be particularly important to behave in a way that it is natural for you.

Unsurprisingly, this is much less stressful than trying to meet expectations or behave ‘normally’ (sometimes called ‘masking’). Resting and recovering is also important when you have actually reached a point of burnout.

Our page on Avoiding Burnout may be helpful, because there seem to be some factors that are consistent between autistic burnout and the more general form.

A Final Thought

Coping with autism is—like autism itself—very much a personal thing.

However, there are some strategies that we know are likely to be helpful, such as keeping yourself physically well, and using exercise to help you to manage stress and anxiety. These are therefore a good starting point for building your own toolkit of coping strategies.


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