Stress Management is a Skill Worth Improving

We often think of stress as an uncontrollable force that creeps into every aspect of our lives. While it’s true that stress is a natural part of life, managing it is a skill you can develop. Learning effective stress management techniques can make your life less nerve-wracking and far more enjoyable.

A robust approach to stress management is built on two pillars: first, preventing and controlling the stressors you can influence, and second, learning to cope effectively with the stressors you can't.

Controlling and Preventing Stress

A "stressor" is any person, situation, or event that causes you stress. The first step in managing stress is to understand what your specific triggers are. By identifying them, you empower yourself to either change the situation or change your reaction to it.

Identifying Your Personal Stress Triggers

To reduce stress, you must first recognise its source. Vague feelings of being overwhelmed are hard to tackle, but specific, identified stressors can be managed. Consider keeping a journal for a week to pinpoint exactly when and why you feel stressed.

Is it the frantic morning rush to get the kids ready for school? A weekly meeting with a particular colleague that leaves you drained? Or the constant ping of work emails on your phone late at night? Once you know the "what," you can start to address the "how."

After identifying your stressors, you can use a few key strategies:

• Avoid the Stressor: Sometimes, the easiest solution is to remove the stressor from your life. This isn't about running from problems, but about smart avoidance. For example, if the 24/7 news cycle causes you anxiety, you can limit your intake to once a day rather than having it on in the background. If a certain route home from work is always congested and frustrating, find an alternative.


• Alter the Situation: If you can't avoid a situation, see if you can change it. This often involves communication and problem-solving. For example, if that weekly meeting is the issue, perhaps you could prepare an agenda in advance to feel more in control, or use assertiveness skills to express your concerns constructively to your manager about the meeting's structure.


• Adapt to the Stressor: When you can't control the situation, you can change your own expectations and attitude. For instance, striving for a perfectly spotless home at all times might be a source of constant stress. By adapting your expectation to ‘clean enough’, you can remove that self-imposed pressure.

Managing Inevitable Stressors

Some sources of stress are simply a part of life. You can't avoid traffic jams, eliminate deadlines entirely, or prevent a loved one from falling ill. In these cases, the focus shifts from control over the situation to control over your response.

Accepting the reality of a situation is the first step. Imagine you're stuck in a major traffic jam and will be late for an important appointment. Fuming with anger won't move the cars any faster. Accepting that you will be late allows you to switch your focus to what you *can* do, like calling ahead to reschedule. This mindset is a cornerstone of building personal resilience.

Turning Stress Into Productive Energy

The physical symptoms of stress—a racing heart, faster breathing, heightened awareness—are part of the body’s 'fight-or-flight' response. This is your body preparing you for high-stakes performance. Instead of letting this feeling paralyse you, you can learn to reframe it.

Think of an upcoming job interview or presentation. That nervous energy is your body giving you the fuel to be sharp, focused, and dynamic. Instead of labelling the feeling as 'anxiety' or 'fear,' try reframing it as 'readiness' or 'excitement.' By channelling this physiological response constructively, you can turn a potentially negative experience into a powerful performance.

Of course, the best way to manage stress from deadlines is to prevent them from becoming overwhelming in the first place, which is where effective time management skills are invaluable.

Further Reading from Skills You Need

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The Skills You Need Guide to Stress and Stress Management

Understand and Manage Stress in Your Life

Learn more about the nature of stress and how you can effectively cope with stress at work, at home and in life generally. The Skills You Need Guide to Stress and Stress Management eBook covers all you need to know to help you through those stressful times and become more resilient.

Conclusion

Stress management is not about eliminating stress entirely but about developing a toolbox of skills to handle it effectively. By learning to identify and control what you can, and to cope with what you cannot, you can significantly improve your well-being. Practising these techniques will help you feel more in control of your life and turn potential challenges into opportunities for growth.