Parenting Advice to Raise Your Kids
Successfully After a Divorce

See also: Conflict Resolution

Parenting is inherently stressful and handling the responsibility alone can be daunting. Single mothers feel the pinch even more because managing a career, home and childcare is a massive feat. The pain of going through a divorce may compound your woes. Ending a marriage is hard, even if you do it with mutual consent. Things are worse if an ugly court battle for child custody entails.

The situation can have a far-reaching impact on your well-being and parenting style as you feel stressed and depressed.

But nothing should stop you from giving your best as a parent because your kids deserve all the love you can give. They need it the most through the challenging phase when they see their family breaking apart. Statistics show a rising trend as millions of American women deal with the challenges of raising their children single-handed after a divorce. The good thing is that you are not alone, and you can seek inspiration for successful parenting from fellow moms.

Here is some valuable parenting advice to help.

Consider your financial status

When it comes to raising your kids alone, money is perhaps the most crucial factor for single moms.

You will probably feel apprehensive if you have always been a stay-at-home mother. Restarting a career after years is never easy, and you may not get an opportunity to cover your living needs. Discuss your financial status with your lawyer to ensure they get you adequate alimony and child support to keep your family afloat.

Finding a job is a good way to become financially independent. You may even find a work-from-home role to balance the role of a working single mom. The objective is to get your finances in place with regular cash flow that covers monthly expenses and provides for long-term savings.

Be mindful of your kids' needs

Parenting during and after a divorce can be taxing. You may be too stressed to focus on the inherent needs of your kids.

Think beyond providing for their physical needs, and be mindful of their emotional struggle. Parental disputes are traumatic for children, and they affect them more than you imagine. At times, kids blame themselves for the trouble in the family.

Spend time with them, have honest conversations, and pay attention to their unspoken needs. Understand their inner state and do your best to assure them that you will always be there. The phase gets scary for kids when they see their parents becoming detached. They may even need counseling support, and you should not skimp on getting it for them.

Keep a positive attitude

Experts recommend settling divorce cases outside the court through mutual understanding and negotiation. But not all divorces entail an easy settlement, and you may have to go through a long and painful legal journey.

For example, the divorce process can take a while in Texas, and it can be the hardest phase of your life. But you must embrace a positive attitude as a parent if you want to do justice to your kids. Focus on regaining control as it can help you steer clear of the negative and painful memories of the past and focus on a happy future.

Leave the arguments in court, and step into a mommy's role as soon as you are with your kids.

Maintain a cordial relationship with your ex

Your ex's relationship with your kids is one thing you cannot change despite a broken marriage. He may have cheated or hurt you in some other way, but he probably loves his kids.

Since he will always be the father of your children, you must do your bit to keep the family intact. The best way to do it is by maintaining a cordial relationship with your ex-husband. Work on it regardless of the disputes in court or during the settlement.

You may discuss the co-parenting arrangements that work for everyone and follow your children's best interests. It may be impossible to warm up again, but patience and compromise are a small price for your kids' happiness.

Never put your kids in the middle

You may decide to forgive and forget for the sake of your children, but the pain and resentment always stay.

Experts recommend never putting your kids in the middle of asking them to choose between their parents. It can damage their mental health and push them to the edge. Sending messages to your ex through the kids sounds easy, but it is the last thing you should do.

Also, avoid making negative statements about your ex or discussing your feelings with your children. Breeding negativity can cause your children to lose trust and give up on relationships. They may never live a normal life as adults if they see the situation in a negative light.

Avoid blaming yourself

As life changes after a divorce, you may make mistakes as a person and a parent. In fact, you may even consider moving on and finding a new relationship at some stage.

Mistakes and moving on can cause guilt. But blaming yourself is the last thing you should do.

Remember that relationships never end due to one partner's fault, so ditch the burden of fault in the first place. Invest in self-care and practice kindness because you need them more than anyone else when going through the challenging phase of single parenting.

You deserve love and happiness, so starting again is nothing to be ashamed of. Your kids will probably understand if you explain the situation to them.

Divorce is perhaps the toughest thing to handle, but you need not navigate the journey alone. Your children, parents, and siblings can be your pillars. Most importantly, seek support from your clan and build an external support system with friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Consider seeing a therapist if the emotional struggle gets too hard to handle. Life will be a lot easier if you choose the right coping strategies. You can still be the best parent your child deserves, provided you are committed to healing and moving on.

About the Author

Oliver James is an experienced content writer specializing in relationship and legal niches. Oliver aims to connect with his audience on deeper levels by using easy-to-understand language in his articles.