This is a guest post for Skills You Need.
Want to contribute? Find out how.
How to Improve Self Esteem
with Simple Personal Commitments
Self-esteem is a necessary ingredient for everyone’s success.
People with high self-esteem are confident and not afraid to think big. They believe in themselves and tackle challenging goals.
Some people never have problems with self-esteem. They see self-confidence as something completely natural and usual. However, there are also many people who struggle to improve their self-esteem, and it turns out to be not an easy task at all.
Most people think of increasing their self-esteem when they want to change their lives. They think their self-esteem would grow if they had more money or if they were more successful. It’s important to understand that acquiring more won’t help you raise your self-esteem. It will grow naturally as you notice more positive things about yourself.
You need to focus on your personal achievements — what is special about you? What is great about your life? Of course, everyone can do better, and any skill can be improved, however, we already have some level of greatness, and this is the key to self-confidence. You should embrace yourself and be positive about your abilities and achievements.
The Difference Between People with Low and High Self-Esteem
Some people are smart, kind, and funny. They know how to solve various problems, they can be great friends and partners, but they never exploit their potential. Something deep inside holds them back. It tells them that they are not worthy of happiness and great achievements. Usually, these people are quiet and shy, which makes them look like introverts.
However, it’s important to understand that the lack of self-confidence lays deep inside, in our subconscious, so even extroverted and loud people may have low self-esteem, trying to hide this truth from others.
This problem that hides somewhere deep in our subconscious may cause many other problems. First, it prevents us from achieving financial success. According to research, self-esteem directly impacts our earnings. For example, people from blue-collar families who are self-confident earn about $7,000 more per year than others. As for white-collar families, their unbreakable self-esteem makes them earn $28,000 more. People with low self-esteem are also afraid to open their own business. There are many people who have great ideas for a service or product, but their lack of self-confidence stops them from actually trying it. They also don’t risk their money and so don’t invest as often as their peers who love themselves.
Low self-esteem also has an impact on our relationships and can cause problems with communication. People with low self-esteem often don’t verbalize their feelings so they cannot build a constructive relationship. They don’t tell what they think and get disappointed when their partner cannot read their mind. They also may not believe that their partner loves them, which leads to toxic behavior. They may feel attacked by their partner, being defensive and expecting their partner to stab them in the back. Obviously, such tension destroys even the most honest and beautiful relationships. Healthy relationships imply a trustful atmosphere and a sense of unity. When a person isn’t self-confident, it becomes hard to be confident in a partner, supporting him or her and creating harmony.
Self-esteem impacts all areas of our lives. Here are some reasons why improving your self-esteem is important:
High self-esteem makes you attractive
We all need to attract certain people to get what we want. If you think that physical appearance is the only thing that makes you attractive, you’re wrong. Self-confidence attracts people even more than physical appearance, and that’s the reason why we have such a term as “charisma.”
It helps you get a better job
The truth is that most employers are more likely to hire an overconfident candidate than an unconfident one. All employers are looking for confident candidates because they get engaged in challenging projects and demonstrate leadership qualities. Such employees never lose important opportunities and are willing to take risks in order to achieve important goals. They also possess an optimistic view and make a positive impact on others, inspiring and motivating them.
It helps you make the right decisions
People who lack self-confidence often put other people’s interests first. They are afraid to pursue their own goals and try to please others, which leads to the inability to make the right decisions. A high level of self-esteem helps you focus on your values and desires so you achieve your goals faster.
It makes you productive
Everybody needs to be productive. Thus, you have to eliminate some activities that are not necessary and to manage your time. Why do you need to be self-confident? Because the lack of self-confidence makes you procrastinate. When we are not sure that we can achieve some goals, we unconsciously waste time and do some meaningless mechanical things instead of focusing on what is really important. In contrast, self-confidence makes people more productive.
Further Reading from Skills You Need
Learn how to set yourself effective personal goals and find the motivation you need to achieve them. This is the essence of personal development, a set of skills designed to help you reach your full potential, at work, in study and in your personal life.
Our eBook is ideal for anyone who wants to improve their skills and learning potential, and it is full of easy-to-follow, practical information.
Tips on How to Improve Your Self-Esteem
1. Don’t compare yourself to others
Many people constantly compare themselves to others, and social media makes this situation even worse. It’s very important to understand that social media doesn’t depict the real lives of people. Nobody shares their failures and bad memories with others, showing only positive aspects of their lives.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, think of who you were before and how did you change. Visualise an image of yourself in the future and think of who you want to be.
2. Be aware of your achievements
If your self-esteem is low, it’s easy to forget about your achievements.
When you realize and appreciate what you’ve achieved in the past, it helps you be more confident about what you plan to do in the future. Take a pen and write down a list of your achievements so that you can look at it when you feel unmotivated or are afraid of doing something.
3. Be aware of your skills
When you recognize your skills, it’s easy to see how valuable you are.
Write down a list of your skills and add a description for each one of them, explaining how you or others can benefit from it. Perhaps, when you think of your skills, you mostly think of what you need to improve, and what skills you would like to have. There’s nothing wrong with being critical of yourself, but you should also understand how talented you are now.
4. Recall how you overcame difficult problems
One of the most important ingredients for high self-esteem is an understanding of your ability to cope with difficulties.
When you realize how difficult were problems that you overcame and when you analyze the lessons you’ve learned from these experiences, it becomes clear that you can do more in the future. Here is a simple exercise that can help you analyze such situations from your life. Write a short story or essay about yourself and the problems you overcame. Describe yourself: what skills helped you cope with some situation? What personal qualities help you overcome adversity in your life?
5. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings and thoughts
This requires practice. Share your thoughts and feelings with someone every day. Share your experiences. If you’re not excited about some activity, tell your friends about it. If your boss gives you a task which isn’t your responsibility, don’t be afraid to say so.
6. Learn to say no
This is especially important. Sometimes we say yes just because we don’t want to hurt somebody else’s feelings. We want to do a right thing but after that, we feel unhappy about our choice, doing what we didn’t want to do. Thus, you should learn to say no. You don’t need to be rude, just say what you think and how you really feel.
7. Explore new activities
Self-confidence and self-improvement are two things that don’t exist without each other. Think of what you would like to change about yourself and how you can eliminate stress. Join a fitness group, try meditation, yoga, or running. You can also try singing or painting — don’t be afraid to try something new.
8. Build healthy relationships
When you have supportive people around you, they help you be self-confident. Get rid of people who don’t care about you and your best interests. Find people who inspire you and be kind. Other people may also have problems — they often just need someone to listen to them and support them with advice.
Our tips may not help you solve all your self-esteem issues but they will help you to look at your life in a more positive light. Make these exercises your habit.
Note all the positive things about your life and don’t be afraid to be who you are.