What are Interpersonal Skills?

Interpersonal skills are the life skills we use every day to communicate and interact with other people, individually and in groups.

Interpersonal skills include not only how we communicate with others, but also our confidence and our ability to listen and understand. Problem solving, decision making and personal stress management are also considered interpersonal skills.

People with strong interpersonal skills are usually more successful in both their professional and personal lives. They are perceived as more calm, confident and charismatic - qualities that are often endearing or appealing to others. Being more aware of your interpersonal skills can help you improve and develop them. SkillsYouNeed provides an extensive library of articles to help you learn about and improve your interpersonal skills.

A list of Interpersonal Skills could include:

Listening Skills	Communication Skills	Stress Management	Verbal Communication
Assertiveness	Decision Making	Problem Solving	Non-Verbal Communication

You already have interpersonal skills. We all learn how people are likely to react to what we say, how we say it and what we do, as well as how these actions make others, and us, feel. These skills are easily further developed with a little time and effort spent working, thinking and practising them. Remember it is worth spending time developing these skills as good interpersonal skills can improve many aspects of your life.

Interpersonal skills are also sometimes referred to as social skills, people skills, soft skills or life skills, although these terms can be broader and may also refer to other skills.

There are a variety of skills that will help you to succeed in different areas of life and SkillsYouNeed has sections covering many of these. However, the foundation for many areas of our lives is good interpersonal skills since these are relevant to our personal relationships, social affairs and professional lives and are the basis on which we can develop other life skills. Unlike specialised and technical skills (hard skills), interpersonal skills (soft skills) will be used every day and in every area of our lives.

Here, you can find out how to develop specific interpersonal skills including:

Learn to Listen

Listening is not the same as hearing. Take time to listen carefully to what others are saying through both their verbal and non-verbal communication. (More on Listening Skills)

Choose Your Words

Be aware of the words you are using when talking to others. Could you be misunderstood or confuse the issue?  Practise clarity and learn to seek feedback to ensure your message has been understood. Encourage others to engage in communication and use appropriate questioning to develop your understanding. (More on Verbal Communication, Questioning and Effective Speech)

Understand Why Communication Fails 

By learning about the various barriers to good communication you can be aware of - and reduce the likelihood of - ineffective interpersonal communication. (See Barriers to Communication)

Relax

When we are nervous we tend to talk more quickly and therefore less clearly.  Being tense is also evident in our body language and other non-verbal communication. Instead, try to stay calm, make eye contact and smile.  Let your confidence shine. (Learn about Non-Verbal Communication, Personal Appearance and some top tips for Dealing with Stress also see our page on Coping with Presentation Nerves.)

Clarify

Show an interest in the people you talk to. Ask questions and seek clarification on any points that could be easily misunderstood. (See Reflection and Clarification)

Be Positive

Try to remain positive and cheerful.  People are much more likely to be drawn to you if you can maintain a positive attitude. (More on Personal Presentation and Building Confidence)

Empathise

Understand that other people may have different points of view. Try to see things from their perspective. You may learn something while you gain the respect and trust of others. (More on Active Listening and read our article: What is Empathy?)

Understand Stress

Learn to recognise, manage and reduce stress in yourself and others.  Although stress is not always bad it can have a detrimental effect on the communication process. Learning how to recognise and manage stress, in yourself and others, is an important interpersonal skill. (More about stress.)

Learn to be Assertive

You should aim to be neither passive nor aggressive. Being assertive is about expressing your feelings and beliefs in a way that others can understand and respect.  Assertiveness is fundamental to successful negotiation. (Learn more about Assertiveness | Negotiation and Confidence)

Reflect and Improve

Think about previous conversations and other interpersonal interactions; learn from your mistakes and successes.  Always keep a positive attitude but realise that we can all always improve our communication skills. (See our article on Improving Communications Skills)

Negotiate

Learn how to effectively negotiate with others paving the way to mutual respect, trust and lasting interpersonal relations. (Negotiation Skills)

Working in Groups

We often find ourselves in group situations, professionally and socially. Learn all about the different types of groups and teams in our article: What is a Group. Further articles about groups include: Group and Team Roles, Group Life Cycles, Building Group Cohesiveness and How to Recognise and Avoid Problem Behaviours in Groups.

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Continue to:
Interpersonal Communication Skills
Principles of Interpersonal Communication
Personal Presentation Skills | Confidence
Time Management

Explore our extensive Interpersonal Skills library:

Contribute: Rhubarb at Skills You Need